It's funny, people look at me and make an assumption. (That facial expression I have) Then people speak to me and start to get an understanding. "Your in your own world there lad they say". I believe what people see is a mix between, passion, seriousness, focus and a hint of Madness.

Here is how it is, and possibly what I'm thinking about.

When opportunities are to arise I always pursue them, if it's the correct opportunity I'm there, I don't let it go, there I believe is the passion people see, (That dog like instinct perhaps that follows my nick name). For me every year there's a setback, they happen all year but always on different levels, everyone of them however is like a little grieving process, but compared to what's happened in the past it's minuscule, you get back up because you know the opportunity isn't missed, I've pursued it as far as I can and I've fought my own battle. Yes you may annoy some doing this, but in the end you hope they see the drive behind the passion that you give. There's also the chance that you get to prove them wrong. The other most annoying being when those same people turn round and say, I see I've made a mistake now. "What do you say to that?"

To that, or life's obstacles its self you can't say much, say to much and you burn bridges with people that may be willing to help you out in the future. Angry is perhaps the word, but getting angry is sometimes an amazing and wonderful training tool, it certainly pushes me further, just be careful to not carry it with you when you take the helmet off.

Sometimes I here people saying life is to short, sometimes you just have to let it go, but usually they're the ones to pluck an excuse out of thin air. (the people we say have a book of excuses) That saying it's self drives me mad however for personal reasons, "life's to short". In 2010 I lost my close friend Lewis Barry, and then at the beginning of this year I was scared of losing one of my best friends Levi Moody. I don't pray much, but when something like that hits you, it's hard not to take the time to just say a few words. This is what gives me the ability to get back up and fight.
To me it is also what brings the serious side to life and cycling, however to me I guess cycling is life, for those moments, for those people all the hard work is worth it, the motion behind that is always, the people that have helped and the people who look over and after me. Can I in some peoples words, Make it?

To keep pushing through the anger and all the setbacks I find the best way is to focus, know what your doing, know your goal, not just wonder round aimlessly. To me that's in the training, the long rides, the goals I set, but then sometimes when you step back a bit Cycling just gives you time to think, to me if you can focus for 6hrs say on a training ride and not give up, your in a happy place when there's a 120 + other riders around you, It's all linked, everything done or thrown at you has a reason somewhere behind it.

For me It's also never just Physical training and preparation either, it's also Mental. If you get everything given, what happens when you don't?

the point is nothing's ever straight forward as a cyclist, it keeps you on your toes and it takes you places you have never being before, both good and bad, but also the same mentally, once you've being to the extreme low of something, you've got the experience and know how to stop yourself from doing that again.

what you've read above is perhaps madness, perhaps it's just me. What's the meaning? Honestly I'm not sure. There's a lot to think about in this sport, but when I'm on the bike I get time to think things over or simply forget and enjoy.

Then sometimes it's a matter of what you say, did I really need to say the above, No. However to write it down certainly helps. That's something you can't say in a facial expression.